Holy Water
by Sakura Sango
Summary: One shot Song fic) Part of his once porcelain face was covered with caked on dried blood. While long, narrow slashes covered the rest. His right cheek was bruising. Picking up a worn rag Touya slowly began to clean himself up. As far as Touya was concerne


Holy Water

By: Saka (SakuraSango)

Rated: PG-13 (may be overrated though)

Summary: (One shot Song fic) Part of his once porcelain face was covered with caked on dried blood. While long, narrow slashes covered the rest. His right cheek was bruising. Picking up a worn rag Touya slowly began to clean himself up. As far as Touya was concerned this was love.

Song background: This is Big and Rich's song "Holy Water." This song has emotional ties for the singers. It was written for Big Kenny's sister, Charlene, who was in an abusive relationship and got out finally. _These are song lyrics 'k_

Warnings: In this song fic Kurama comes around to being a bastard (don't get the wrong idea- he is one of my fave characters on the show. This is just what came to my mind), mentionings of boy/boy pairings (Touya/Kurama and Touya/Jin), mentionings of abuse

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_Somewhere there's a stolen halo_

_I used to watch her wear it well_

The dim lighting of the hut reflected the blue haired figure's mood. Slowly he limped into his room, his sanctuary. Silently the darkened figure closed the door over. Not wanting the latch to betray him the ice apparition left it open a crack. Right now he did not feel like company, not even his close friend Jin.

_Everything would shine_

_Wherever she would go_

Walking to the mirror he shuddered at the reflection. His left eye was already swelling shut. Part of his once porcelain face was covered with caked on dried blood. While long, narrow slashes covered the rest. His right cheek was bruising. A tiny stream of blood trailed down his lip tickling his chin as it fell to the table below.

_But lookin' at her now, you'll never tell_

Gently Touya bit his cut and bleeding lip in an effort to keep from crying. To him this was nothing new. Just a part in the cycle. In a few days everything would be ok again. His eye would be almost back to normal. The slashes were no worse then usual. Picking up a worn rag Touya slowly began to clean himself up.

_Someone ran away with her innocence_

_A memory she can't get out of her head_

Kurama would come back apologizing. Everything would be back to the way it was supposed to be. Touya just had to wait for the fox to tire of his new toy. Then he would come back, that was what he always did before. Dabbing his lip lightly Touya nodded to the reflection.

"Just wait until then. Then you can be loved again." As far as Touya was concerned this was love. After all this was the only love that Touya had felt. Love with strings attached. These beatings were a part of it. But how else could he ever be loved? He was too cold. His emotions were bottled within somewhere. Somewhere there was a chest chained and locked, intended to never be opened.

But Kurama, Kurama did not care. Kurama still stayed with him. The red head showed the cold demon true love. And as long as Touya could deal with days like these then he would be able to join those who were loved. '_Even if it was with strings attached.'_

_And I can only imagine what she's feelin' when she's prayin'_

_Kneelin' at the edge of her bed_

Outside the door a small red headed demon watched. A tear fell soundlessly from his eye as he stared at his friend who washed his newly inflected wounds just like every other week.

Why? Why did he still crawl back every week. The Touya that he knew would never stand for this. The Touya that he knew would have walked away without ever looking back.

But perhaps he did not know his friend as well as he thought. Was he really that sad, that lonely. Jin knew that he was quiet and liked to be alone. But was it all an act, did he truly wish to be loved. Was that the deepest emotion that he longed to feel.

_And she says, take me away_

_Then take me, Father_

_Surround me now_

'_All those times that he stared at me, when he thought I did not notice. Did I miss their true meaning? Am I to blame for what is happening to him now?_'

Touya, having given up on cleaning his beaten face- his fox's punching bag, limped lightly over to his bed, falling at the edge of it. Throwing his face into it's spread Touya cried. There he cried out in pain. Pain of mind, body and soul.

_And hold, hold, hold me _

_Like Holy Water_

_Holy Water_

The sobs of sorrow tore through Jin's heart, like a heated poker. How it pained him to see his friend suffer like this every week. Pointed ears drooped as Touya let out his inner feelings into the ice blue blanket.

Leaning against the wall Jin allowed his knees to give out. His back slowly slid down the wall as tears fell from his eyes. Weeping Jin glanced back at the closed door.

_She wants someone to call her angel_

_Someone to put the light back in her eyes_

That closed door reminded him of a day when Touya had been watching the sun set. Touya's eyes had held a somber glimmer as he stared ahead. Such a mesmerizing look was in those aqua eyes, so entrancing that they had held Jin forcing him to stay by and watch the sun set too. Just as the sun was hitting the end of its light Touya spoke, his voice bizarrely dead. '_You know Jin, what a closed door means.' _Jin shook his head intent on listening to his friend. Smiling sadly Touya had turned to the setting sun, mesmerized by it,_ ' It means that that person is hiding a secret. A secret that they do not want out, ever._' Jin sat silent, not wanting to break the beauty before him, but that had churned in his mind. It was not until now that he understood what was meant. But now he did.

Touya was talking about himself. About how he had a secret, a secret that he never wanted to come out. And Jin unknowingly respected his wishes. Jin never told about these nights. When Touya would come up with some lame demon attacking him in the forest story Jin would follow along covering for his friend. And Reisho would never question it.

_She's lookin' through the faces and unfamiliar places_

_She needs someone to hear her when she cries_

Screaming into the blankets Touya wished once again that he was 'normal.' If only he could feel true love. Tired he slowly pulled himself to his pillow. All Touya wanted now was freedom. A life where he had the sun's warmth to heat him and someone to love him.

Holding out his right hand, Touya made a tiny ice sword. This reminded him of his options. Either he was to stay strong and stay with Kurama, or he was to die by his blade like a coward. There were no other options. Kurama had made sure of that. For the fox had once again told that his happiness was no longer in his hands. Kurama controlled every aspect of Touya.

_And she says, take me away_

_Then take me, Father_

_Surround me now_

And still Touya stayed, despite his nagging pride. The thought of having felt love- even if it was one sided- was more powerful then maintaining his pride. For without love what good was any other emotion.

_And hold, hold, hold me _

_Like Holy Water_

_Holy Water _

Jin, worried about the sudden silence, peeked back through the door. There he say how fragile Touya really was. How easily broken of a warrior he was. He was not cold because he wanted to be, but because it was the only way that he could survive, in this cruel world.

_Like Holy Water_

Touya silently prayed for freedom and for a true love. One that both would feel. One that he would be able to love back without fear or distrust in the back of his mind.

_She just needs a little help_

_To wash away the pain she's felt_

Wiping away stray tears, Jin slowly opened the door staring that the mound under the covers. Slowly he slid next to the shaking demon. Throwing an arm over the mound Jin snuggled close humming lightly.

_She wants to feel the healin' hands of someone who understands_

Touya had felt the bed move under the weight of someone but refused to acknowledge it. The arm that slowly hugged him tight reminded the ice demon of Kurama's grasp soon after taking his frustrations out on him. Shuddering Touya did what he always did when he felt the grasp. He closed his beautiful blue eyes and shut out his mind. The pain always hurt less when he did that.

With eyes shut, mind in another plane Touya waited for the kisses that would adorn his neck, making a perfect necklace. But they never came. Neither did the clawing or punching that Touya had come to accept as a part of love.

_And she says, take me away_

_Then take me, Father_

_Surround me now_

But instead came a light hum. Such a peaceful song it was too. It made Touya want to get closer to the warmth that laid behind him. It was such a nice and peaceful warmth. One that he could be proud to say he loved.

_Surround me now_

_And hold, hold, hold me _

Jin sniffed back more tears as he held the now still Touya. He wished that they could lay like this always but first he had to know one thing. "Why Touya?" Carefully he chose his words, not wanting to shake loose any bad memories, "Why do ye stand this?"

Touya moved closer to the warmth still unwilling to speak, for fear of what would come. He had learnt what happened when you say something that was not liked or respected. But this was Jin. Maybe Jin would care more.

When he did finally speak his voice was so low that it was barely audible- only Jin's demonic ears could hear it. "I just wanted someone to love me. I just wanted to be loved, not feared. I'm tired of seeing the fleeing backs of others. Kur- For once I found someone." Touya was still unable to say Kurama's name without feeling fearful, "I just wanted to know how it felt to be happy. If I can feel that then I'll do anything. Even feel like this when it's needed."

_She says, take me away_

_Then take me, Father_

_Surround me now_

Jin's sapphire eyes clouded up with tears as he heard this simple confession. There had been no long drug out explanations. Hugging his friend even closer Jin softly kissed his bruised cheek.

_And hold, hold, hold me _

_Like Holy Water_

"Touya ye don't have to hide anymore, it's ok." Holding the mound closer Jin closed his eyes, intent on proving to his friend that he would always be around. Then maybe more trust could come and Jin could confess his true feelings. Feelings that made him more then just a friend.

_Like holy water_

_Like holy water_

This minute, right here, both of them laying in bed side by side was one that neither Jin or Touya wanted to spoil.

_Like holy water_

_Like holy water_

X-X-X-

So how was it? Feel free to tell me how ya really felt about it. Meaning flames **_are_** allowed.


End file.
